vomit freckles are so not becoming.

so delicate. tiny capillaries that just couldn't stand up to the strength of retching. they last for at least a day and remind everyone that looks at you of the tortuous acrobatics of your digestive system.

last night was a bit rough. today was slightly better. and now you, internet, can hold onto my woes for me so that my friends are spared the complaining.

tropical diseases are pretty scary. i've been collecting bug bites, so i was sure i had dengue fever last night when at 11pm i felt the headache become a piercing, throbbing heartbeat inside my skull. i couldn't stop shaking. and i can't stand nausea and vomiting, so when that started i got up and stumbled to the radio room. the guards inside were so sweet and let me lie down on the cot while we waited for the nurse. when she took my temperature, she said, "HMM!" and i was startled. it wasn't bad, just a little over 101, but i've never felt such an intense fever.

my eyes were heavy from the headache, but when i closed them i'd see the most fantastical, violent images. i saw myself with the head of a lion and the face of a wolf, and i was biting at a separate figure that was also myself. other times, i saw bright colors and jagged edges dripping with blood. sudden movements, lots of anger. nothing held back.

the nurse gave me a shot to reduce the headache and fever and took some blood for tests. it all came back negative and so i'm fine and already recovering. silvain has been sick repeatedly, and i just feel so bad because i cannot imagine this lasting for days and days. we joke that he is a human shield, protecting us from whatever diseases Indonesia sees fit to throw our way. though somehow, john is the only one who has been entirely safe.

the nurse came to my room twice over the course of the night, the second time with the doctor. they both came back to check on me again today. matt sent bottles and bottles of water, and kat made me noodles and tea. i'm really feeling quite loved. nealin says that we are like a sitcom where all the main ensemble actors interact only with each other except for a cameo now and again of some little known but slightly recognizable person.

i want to say "I LOVE YOU GUYS!" but i think that sort of thing is only appropriate when you're drunk. someday soon enough.